quid pro quo

Life is such a funny thing. I am hopeful about life, and believe that you should be hopeful in life. But I definitely have a certain desperation in my attitude toward life. A hopeful desperation if you will. An idea that good is capable of being achieved, that love will eventually win out. But that none of this will be done with ease, with out a fight, a messy fight. Because there is a dichotomy at work. An un-actualized paradise we look toward with outstretched arm. And a realized brokenness in which we move in and out of as we wake, and as we lay down at night. It is the give and take, the quid pro quo, of creation. So though I am hopeful, I must fight to be hopeful, in the honest reality that all is not right; and all will not be right if not for the unification of people in the name of something good. So I find myself as two when thinking about what I will be doing in the future; where I will be, what I will be doing. One side, hopeful, seeing the ideal as a viable option. The other side seeing certain failure, and having the ability to accept that and move on. I don’t know if this a depressing, or fatalistic way of looking at the world, or just an honest one, but it’s just the way I see it for now. I’m grateful life is able to teach us and help us grow and evolve though.